Making Memories of You

Posted by on Dec 26, 2014 in New, Pasta | 1 comment

The message that follows is an open letter my niece, Lindsey posted reflecting on her current health status --waiting for a lung transplant.  When we look over our shoulders to Christmas Days past, ribbons and bows, family, friends and stuff-of-life memories lineup as sturdy tin soldiers tarnished over time.  Love joins hands when we pray for one another and those who will give the gift of life in 2015.  MP and I end 2014 and roll into the New Year praying gratitude and compassion for Lindsey’s donor.

I am taking a moment this morning to update my family and friends on what has been going on with me the past few weeks and to reflect on what Christmas meant to me this year. It was a little extra special to me. It was not the usual hustle and bustle that it usually is. Spending time with my dad and boyfriend, along with a wonderful prime rib dinner cooked by my sister, and getting to see the excitement on my nephew's face when Santa called him on Grandpa's cell phone was amazing to me. I am so thankful that we were all healthy enough to spend that time together.

I have not felt well over a month now. I'm stubborn by nature and that can be a double-edged sword in times like this. It helps me keep fighting and to stay strong, but I sometimes fail to see the signs that my body is telling me that even though I THINK I'm Super Woman, I'm really not. I spent 12 days in the hospital and went from bad to worse quickly. I have been clinically considered "end stage" CF for some time now, but this hospital visit was a raw reminder of how quickly it can decline for those of us in the CF fight. I'm clocking in at a whopping 14% lung function. The fact that I have not gone up even after two weeks of meds is all new territory for me. My records are being sent to yet another transplant hospital with a shorter wait time.

One bittersweet moment was when I was making my rounds walking down the hospital hallway with my physical therapist. I was down in the dumps because every breath and step was a struggle because my airways are collapsing when I take a deep breath. I made mention that this was the worst I've ever been. She said to me "but at least you are up walking. Other people, with your lung function, some with higher, are on a ventilator at this point". It reminded me that things are going to get very scary, but I had to change my thought process to be thankful of what I still CAN do.

At this point, I don't know what my recovery will be like as I'm dependent upon a caretaker (thanks Bill Barrett, Rose H. and Holly Barrett!) It has already taken much longer that my usual timeframe to bounce back. I keep telling myself that slow and steady wins the race.

I follow another girl with CF on Instagram and she is also on the lung transplant list. She makes an effort to constantly wish her future donor a good night. I'd like to follow in her example in that wherever my donor was yesterday, whatever he/she was doing, I hope they enjoyed what is likely to be their last Christmas and made some amazing memories with their loved ones.

--Lindsey Rose

One Comment

  1. 12-30-2014

    Lindsey and the Barrett-Lunde Clan continue to be in our hearts and prayers, as do the donor families so poignantly referred to in Lindsey’s touching letter. With loving thoughts…..

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